I'm really not one to blog...in fact I forgot the name of my blog and had to search for it in google. Oops
I have been wanting to find it for two reasons: 1. To find my original story sharing about Isaiah so I could save it and 2. to share our story about Rae
Some know, some do not, about how little Rae came into our family. Around the time Isaiah turned 2 we started talking about baby 2...this conversation goes somewhat different in our home because well...as you have probably noticed, we don't build our family the conventional way :) So this time, we talked about adopting but knew that wasn't an option at the moment. Then we talked about visiting my OB and talking medical options but this wasn't an option either because at this point and even still this is not something the Lord has given us a peace over. So Daniel brings up Foster Care and let me be perfectly candid with you...I threw an absolute fit. My response was something to the tune of, "nope, no way, not gonna happen and don't ask me again."
You can imagine how that worked out for me. After wrestling with the Lord on this one, I digressed and we took the plunge into the foster system. I'll spare you all the details and opinions on it but lets just say over an 18 month period of being foster parent's I threw my share of toddler sized tantrums. I didn't always handle everything with such diginity and grace...hard to believe right?!!
Fast forward, we move into our new house. Get the new house approved on Monday and told it would be weeks or even months before we got a placement. Tuesday, the phone rings and the other end of the call went like this, "Hey Heather, it's Katrina. I wanted to let you know there is a baby girl in need of placement. She is an infant, as in born yesterday. We wanted to see if you are interested in taking her."
My immediate response was yes, she even asked if I needed to call Daniel to which I kindly said no mam, this is what we signed up for right?!
So you could possibly imagine the emotions to follow but if you can't I'll fill you in. Oh my gosh a newborn baby girl!!!!! I need to go shopping...oh no...wait...what's the story...how long will she be here...I wonder if we will adopt her...oh shoot, what about her birthmom, whats her story...a newborn???? What did I just agree too...no sleeping for us for a while...awe I'm getting a baby girl, I've always wanted a girl...oh wait, but she isn't mine.
My head started spinning with all kinds of questions, emotions, concerns. We head up to meet her only to get the call that we can't because the case worker has left for the day. So we turn around. We visit with her the next few days until she is ready to come home. That was a day in itself. The hospital calls us to let us know she is ready to be released, the normal case worker is out of town, our DFCS worker is out of town, the hospital sub case worker calls to inform me that she is reporting to the head of DFCS for the state that the baby is being neglected because she isn't being released due to the fault of the case workers. You can insert Mama Bear here...So the craziness begins and stayed until April 15!
We had meetings, court hearings, home visits (lots and lots), unexpected visits (not fun FYI), lots of driving to Rome, lots of tears, lots of joy...needless to say a journey that challenged me at my core.
It wasn't an easy journey, at times I wanted to throw in the towel. I was tired of being questioned, watched over, checked in, asking permission for, having my hands tied, not being allowed to parent...and then, I would look at the biggest blue eyes and remember why we said yes to this journey! For precious little lives who needed a chance at life.
I will never ever understand why God chose us for that journey because most of the time I felt like a complete and utter failure at it, but I'm so thankful He did. If given the chance, I would walk the journey over and over.
On April 15, 2015 we were given the chance to make our sweet Rae "officially" ours! Her little life is so much a reflection of God's grace. His grace when His children (me) try to run the other direction from His call. His grace when we fail over and over and over. His grace when we don't trust He has our best interest at heart and that His plan is always so much sweeter than our own. I'm forever thankful...I will fail again many times in life but I'm forever thankful for the reminder I have every morning when I see those big blue eyes and she is calling me mamoo (her new, odd version of mama).
